I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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