all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
