I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
