I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
