ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Ketchup is God's man juice
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
