seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
is it fun? or sober?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
