last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
