the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
