Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
