Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
too bad you live with your parents still
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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