You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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