But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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