Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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