I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
