I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I die, sorry about rent.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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