I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
