I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
