They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
