So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
