What a fucking waste of an outfit
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize