She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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