sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I need a beard to bite.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
