I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
