what day is it and did you see me today?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
