Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
