So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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