eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
