Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
