I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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