We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We left an ass print on the piano.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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