What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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