i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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