My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
