ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i think my cat just said my name.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
