I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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