the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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