i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
