my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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