we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
