My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
