There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
