So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
