I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
