Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
