Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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