how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
