i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
