Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize