Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
