the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
