New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
