Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
