i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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