We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
