the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
