this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
