Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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