Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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