take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
