Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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